Signs Of Emotional Intelligence EI

[responsivevoice_button voice=”UK English Female” buttontext=”Listen to Post”]

What Does Emotional Intelligence Look Like?

Emotional intelligence looks like a person that is understanding, empathizing with others and negotiating life situations through effective communication skills. Without emotionally intelligence in our life and career, success eludes us.

Self Awareness Leads To Self-Regulating

The ability to recognize an emotion as it “happens” is the first sign that an emotion may need some awareness and attention brought to it. As soon as you recognize an emotion happening you can begin to notice the effects in the physical body. The physical signs of tightness in the body or chemicals racing through the blood are the first sign that your emotional awareness can monitor the situation rather than take simply reacting or taking action.

You have already begun the process of self-regulating by bringing your attention to your own physical body rather than directing your attention on an outward story or situation. This is the process of self-control. As you focus on the impulses in the body you can begin to open to new ideas rather than getting caught in your own chemistry.

Noticing Emotions As Energy In The Body

Now that your focus is on the sensations moving through your body. Notice the thoughts that begin to frame in your mind. Negative thoughts can be reframed into more positive thoughts. With this focus, you can drop the stories that want to be created. The stories that build obstacles and setbacks in your life. Here you begin to notice the energy in the body and become the witness rather than reacting.

Due to the chemistry that comes from emotions running through the body, everything works better if you also have a therapeutic way to transform the emotions in the body. Physical exercise is good for this and Healing QiGong is profoundly powerful in moving emotional energy in the body – out.

Emotions are mapped and held energetically in the organs of the body. Some system of bodily release needs to be embraced on a regular basis.

Self-Empathy And Interpersonal Skills

Your ability to recognize how you feel will assist you in discerning how other people feel. Bolstering your interpersonal abilities which will assist you in cultivating opportunities with others. Understanding others and discerning the feelings behind your needs and wants and the needs and wants of others.

Strong communication skills start with your own inner personal communication and move out towards others as development deepens. Rather than coming from confusion, you can effectively communicate by sending clear messages. Before you know it you are building relationship bonds that are nurturing without being destructive. You have flow in your life rather than ups and downs.

Psychologists agree that among the ingredients for success seventy-five percent involves Emotional Intelligence. So What Is Emotional Intelligence?

The post Signs Of Emotional Intelligence EI appeared first on Coach Ema.

Feel Calm By Soothing The Senses

[responsivevoice_button voice=”UK English Female” buttontext=”Listen to Post”]

When we are in a distressing situation or feeling emotionally overwhelmed we can lash out and hurt others or we can find ways that provide us with comfort and pleasure. Finding ways to help ourselves feel better, calmer and more relaxed can be life changing. When you know how to find comfort in an uncomfortable world you begin to nurture yourself and others.

Self-Soothing The Senses

Soothing the senses: vision, hearing, smell, taste, touch. These are the senses that get overstimulated and also provide the windows of opportunity to self-soothe. When you notice any distress in your body, think of strategies that will short-circuit the stress or help you to cope with overwhelming emotions or situations, through the senses.

Change your vision by focusing on something beautiful in nature. Listen to soothing music. Smell some of your favorite scenes in nature or simply notice the smells around you that you like. Drink a soothing cup of tea. Take a bath and feel the water caress your body. Pet the dog. Enjoy something soft or smooth.

Here’s an example environment to soothe all the senses. Create an environment designed to soothe. An un-clutter, softly lit, calm colored room perhaps. Include soothing music of the sounds of nature or water. Have a cup of warm tea. Notice the clean smells around you. Enjoy fabrics that caress the body in softness or smoothness. Sink into your own being and aura.

As you begin to practice self-soothing, things will begin to get better and you will find over time that it is easy and well worth the focus.

Notice How You Self-Soothe

A young child learns to self-soothe from being soothed by their caregivers. Caregivers comfort a child with touch and holding them close to the heart. Over time the child will learn to calm oneself. Soothing activities are critical for the healthy development of any child.

As adults we find comfort in companionship via friends, family and huggers that pull us close to their heart. Self-soothing is a basic skill important for emotional and physical well-being.

For emotionally sensitive people, self-soothing is a life raft. Learning how to effectively self-soothe during moments of upset may not come naturally to everyone and can require thought and action. A stress response is a natural part of our survival pattern. Creating sensations that say there is no emergency helps calm the body’s alert system so the brain can regain its ability to think and plan. If you are sipping hot tea under a soft blanket or lazing in a bubble bath, then there must be no reason to run at full speed to the nearest cave!

Whatever the reason or origin of emotional sensitivity, self-soothing can help. Marsha Linehan recognized the importance of self-soothing and included these skills when she developed Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  Self-soothing is part of finding a middle ground, a gray area, between being detached or numb and experiencing an emotional crisis or upheaval. Allowing yourself to experience the uncomfortable emotions (without feeding them and making them more intense) enables the emotions to pass. Soothing yourself helps you tolerate the experience without acting in ways that are not helpful in the long run, or blocking the emotions, which makes the emotions grow larger or come out in ways you didn’t intend.

Here is a lovely article about noticing how babies and adults self-soothe.

The post Feel Calm By Soothing The Senses appeared first on Coach Ema.

Tips For Navigating Emotions In Relationship

[responsivevoice_button voice=”UK English Female” buttontext=”Listen to Post”]

Surf’s Up…Riding The Wave ~

Navigating our emotions can be feel a lifelong goal. Unpredictable emotional undercurrents arise in our life, swirling around ever turn needing attention and focus. Here are some tips for navigating these energies and keeping things in perspective.

When we simply react to our emotions, we can be dragged down into deep water. We have all had to try to fix an emotional outburst after the fact, it can be hard to get a redo in some of our relationships.

As we learn to strengthen our emotional reactions to things and look for emotional strength inside. We begin to lead with our heart rather than externally reacting to an emotional reaction.

Planning For Emotional Triggers

We all have emotional triggers. We often know ahead of time we may be walking into a situation that may be emotionally challenging or charged. Taking a moment to focus on the triggers ahead of time, can assist us in dealing with the emotional waves and add more peace to our day. A little forethought can help us to have the bigger picture in mind.

Emotions aren’t good or bad that just are and they are in constant flux and moment. We don’t really have to attach to strongly to any of them. It helps to remember that when there is a ripple on the water, it doesn’t mean a tidal wave is approaching. Opportunities and benevolent situations will exist alongside challenges.

Tips For Riding The Emotional Wave

1. Ground yourself, take a few deep breaths, bring yourself fully into the present and connect to your heart. Taking emotional flight will lift you out of yourself. Being grounded will help you avoid enlarging an issue that can be illuminated by a momentary emotional spike.When emotions are amplified and they are negative ones, anger will likely arise.
2. Deal with emotions within yourself before you take any action or communicate with others. This is how to skillfully manage your emotions. It is a vital key to strong healthy relationships.
3. Many outward influences can light up our emotions.Those emotions can be happy, sad and everything in between. Do your best to stay neutral as your emotions reveal them self to you. Most emotions are better viewed from a higher perspective of spirit. Invite that view so you can respond appropriately.
4. When we are triggered emotionally, our mind can come up with some deep inner questions. A small thing can have you searching for what is right. When these arise, don’t simply dismiss them, go deeper within yourself and contemplate these questions in a new way, asking spirit for a fresh approach.
5. With awareness and focus inward rather than outward a new sense of clarity can offer calm rather than upset in your relationships. Be open to new information, it’s possible you could have overlooked a key component to seeing clearly while emotional charged. Look at it again in a new light.

Calm Waters Ahead

You don’t have to continue to have emotional discord in your loving relationships.You can be at the forefront of creating a brand-new type of emotional world for yourself. The first step is indeed the most liberating. Life can be rich and calm rather than empty and turbulent. Try it on your next emotional ride and let me know how these tips assist you on your path to loving relationships.

The post Tips For Navigating Emotions In Relationship appeared first on Coach Ema.

By Design It’s Healthier To Sleep Alone

The Study Of Human Design

[responsivevoice_button voice=”UK English Female” buttontext=”Listen to Post”]

Research has confirmed that sleeping in a bed with a partner can be bad for your health. Couples suffer up to 50 percent more disturbances when sleeping next to someone rather than sleeping alone.

If you are a light sleeper you may be the one that moves to the spare bed after cuddle time. Sleeping in separate beds doesn’t really affect the great snuggle times you share in the evening or in the morning. It actually gives you a little time to miss each other.

When sleeping happens separately each person can create the perfect sleeping environment for them. Snore without being woke and told to roll. Sleep in silence without disruption.

The room can be warm or cool, whatever takes you to a glorious sleep. You can sleep with a sheet or under the quilts, without someone pulling the sheet or losing your pillow. You can read with the light on or fall asleep to the TV. You can wake the way of you choose. We all like it different in what helps us sleep well.

For some of us the only time we have to our self is the time we spend in our dream life. When we sleep with another our dreams are blended. Some of us have dreams filled with demons as we spend the night fighting in our sleep. Some of us dream of the light and the spiritual realm and yet others are working on solving the problems of the world.

Such a busy time this sleep time. Yet we deem it important to share a bed despite all our difference because we find intimacy in sleeping together.

Given that our health is affected by our sleep or the lack of our sleep, it seems a more practical paradise to provide the best sleeping environment we can. Couples admit that sleeping apart and having their own space actually has been good for their relationship.

Without a doubt it supports a healthier relationship than being sleep-deprived. A lousy night’s sleep can be linked to everything from depression to heart disease, strokes, traffic accidents and even divorce. Medication to fall asleep like Xanax and Ativan have a high potential for addiction sometimes requiring rehab.

So rather than a sign of marital doom, sleeping apart can be a support to the one we love and to our relationship. Since we have learned that sleeping together can actually be bad for our health. We can begin to air our preference and begin rearranging the furniture to support a strong healthy relationship.

In ancient Rome, the marital bed was for one thing and that was not for sleeping. For a decent night’s sleep, create a space you can relish and enjoy the excitement of sneaking into each other’s rooms.

The National Association of Home Builders, are receiving an increase in requests for “two-master bedroom” homes. Predicting by 2015, 60 percent of custom homes will have two owner suites.

For those of you that love to sleep together, cuddle on up and enjoy your restful sleep. For those that sleep best alone, make the necessary adjustment and love each other well during your waking and sleeping. Sweet dreams!

P.S. This is just the opposite for babies, infants and newborns that do best with Mom in bed, according to the research.

The post By Design It’s Healthier To Sleep Alone appeared first on Coach Ema.

Communicating With Your Child’s Uniqueness

[responsivevoice_button voice=”UK English Female” buttontext=”Listen to Post”]

4 Way Of Speaking With Your Loved Ones

Communication can seem so impossible with those we live with and love. There are simple clues to discovering a basic way to communicate with the uniqueness within each one of us. We all have a unique way of communicating.  There are intricate ways each individual is designed to speak their words. To have a place to begin let’s look at the general ways in which we are designed to communicate.

People Are Designed To:

1. Respond – The majority of us are here to respond to life with our sounds. For clarity it’s most helpful to be asked questions that can be answer with our sounds rather than words.
2. Be Invited – Some of us are here to be invited into activities that are correct by an invitation that recognizes what we bring to the activity.
3. Inform – Others are correct when they are informing you of what they are about to do.  It helps to speak to them in informing phases as well.
4. In Rhythm – A few of us live the rhythm of the moon and need to flow with life in a slower more reflective way. Seeing this flow in them is what they delight in.

Given that there are four basic ways to communicate, it is easy to discover which way your child, spouse or parent may be designed for you to speak to them. In doing so you will both have more clarity in a way that helps you both care for the other. It’s a simple step in the right direction.

Try It:

• If you have noticed that your loved one often speaks in sounds, moans and groans this person would like to be asked yes and no questions that can be answered with a sound.
• Notice if you are in communication with someone that needs to be invited in by recognition of their offering. All friction will dissolve.
• When you ask questions and are responded to with someone informing you of what you need to know, than perhaps you are communicating with someone that is designed to simply inform you of what you need to know. These people also like other people to inform them as well, rather than long lengthy conversation.
• For those that move on the rhythm let them flow and enjoy the reflections you witness.

It is indeed life changing for all involved. It makes for smoother going communication with those you love.

The post Communicating With Your Child’s Uniqueness appeared first on Coach Ema.

Being Open-Minded Leads To Endless Possibilities

Tricky Mind Games

Do you relate to having an open mind?  Some people are very fixed in their thinking. Others have a very open mind. Open to contemplating anything. The mind is always thinking distilling information, filtering and rationalizing to reach understanding.  It’s open to the pressure of information and inspiration.

An open-minded person will seek ways to be inspired and they can also be or become information junkies. Their open mind is constantly looking for information and inspiration, often taking the tone of confusion, doubt or mystery.

Life can indeed be a great mystery to solve. Endless possibilities can create even more pressure to find inspiration in the end.  The mind being open will always want more, more answers that lead to more questions. Living with an open mind creates the pressure to get to the bottom of it all. Of course all that questioning can lead to confusion or and doubt.  The mind circling round.

The mind can trap deep thinkers into an endless loop as the mental wheels never cease – it ponders the past and attempts to relate to the present and the future.

Here’s the treat…the pressure will always be there.  No matter how much research is done, no matter how many questions get answered and created.  The pressure will not cease.  The mental pressure will always be there.  With awareness by practicing wakefulness you can learn not to pay any attention to it.  In this way you can rest from the pressure while it is still present.

Now the fool would listen to all of it’s questions, all of its information while making a decision.  The sage would listen to the body, noticing how it feels while it was moving in the direction of this decision.  If it’s a life decision wisdom would be experienced by getting as quiet as possible and listening only to the body.  The body holds the wisdom.  The mind dances with information and questions like a jokester, trying to amuse and entertain.

To know…to really know takes time, it unfolds in its own time without or in spite of the pressure of the mind to entertain and amuse with a story. Learn to disbelieve the stories in your head especially the ones you made up while you were emotional upset.  In this way you will make clearer decisions in life and be inline with your destiny.

How does your body feel about that?  The body is not designed to follow all the things the mind can make up. Observe your mind and act in accordance with your body’s wisdom. Life is designed to be an experience rather than a head trip.

The post Being Open-Minded Leads To Endless Possibilities appeared first on Coach Ema.